All posts by Sally Ferguson

Hi! My name is Sally Ferguson and I have been a freelance writer since 1996. Over 100 devotionals have been published in Pathways to God (Warner Press). I’ve also written for Chautauqua Mirror, Just Between Us, Adult Span Curriculum and Thriving Family. Warner Press released my coloring book, What Will I Be When I Grow Up? January 2006. As a speaker, I enjoy connecting with women and seeing them find affirmation for the phase of life they face daily. I am passionate about helping women find encouragement from God’s Word, as well as supplying the tools to help them apply what they’ve learned there. I love organizing retreats and seeing relationships blossom when we take time away from our daily routine. Our Women’s Retreat just celebrated its 10th Anniversary! Parenting has its own set of challenges. My kids are grown but the nest keeps growing. Join me on the journey as we figure it out together!

Book Review: You Don’t Know Me

You Dont know me

You Don’t Know Me begins with a mysterious goodbye. Then, Annalise Decker alludes numerous times to her fragile existence. But the reason why it’s fragile is not fully understood until her Witness Security agent shows up. To the townspeople of Deep Haven, the Deckers look like the perfect family, but inside, they’ve got their problems, too.

Her mother-in-law, Helen has secrets.

Her husband, Nathan has secrets.

Her son, Jason has secrets.

Her daughter, Colleen has secrets.

And her son, Henry wants a different life with skateboarding, rather than the one he has with soccer.

The secrets turn into a nest of lies, and Annalise wonders what the town would do if they discovered she’d lied to them over 20 years? She’s very good at lies, and doesn’t know how to separate truth from fiction any longer.

You Don’t Know Me tackles themes of integrity, trust and self-worth by fleshing out how bad choices affect those around us. And when grace and forgiveness come back into play, the Deckers learn hard times make you stronger and more compassionate. Their struggle to trust God and each other brings them to wonder, how does family stick together when their world falls apart?

Author Susan May Warren says, “I believe I am called to be authentic and honest in my storytelling. As a Christian woman, I am not interested in cardboard characters with unrealistic struggles who receive pat answers. Life can be overwhelming and at sometimes messy and confusing. Relevant faith-filled fiction deals with that and yet offers hope. I don’t presume to know all the answers. I just try and write stories about people learning to walk in faith, every day trusting God just a little bit more.”

Susan May Warren has lived up to her desire to portray real people with real struggles. You Don’t Know Me brings raw emotions to the surface and weaves them into a can’t-put-it-down-book. Bravo!

Sally

Note: I received this book as part of the Tyndale Rewards Program. I received no compensation for this review.


Where do you find retreat locations?

forest_retreat_by_environaut

When word of mouth gets out that you’re looking for a place to host your gang, people can be really helpful with ideas. So helpful in fact, that it gets overwhelming.  Whether you’re planning a family reunion, church getaway or a team building event for work, there are a few crucial elements to settle first.

1) Do we want to cook?  Didn’t you think the first question would be about food?  Let’s be practical!  We all want to know what’s for dinner!  The food question is a big issue because it could pare down the number of choices.  Do you want to haul in food to grill yourselves, or do you want the food to be prepared and served in a dining hall?  There are merits to both and they affect time, cost and atmosphere.

2) What kind of amenities do we want?  Swimming?   Fishing?  Campfires?  Spa Treatment?  Golfing?  The location can bolster your theme’s effect.  For instance, a Boy Scout retreat would be out of place in a 5 Star Hotel.  And many people prefer a mattress over sleeping on the ground in a camping area.  So, find what works for you.

3) What size of group do you need to accommodate?  While searching the internet for a retreat location, my co-coordinator came across a gorgeous setting with prayer gardens and a castle atmosphere.   It wasn’t big enough for our retreat, but later we used it for a leadership training event!

Try several keywords when you Google places: retreat centers, vacations, and hideaways all convey the idea.  When you think like a tourist, you can find things you may not have noticed before.

4) How far are you willing to drive?   Even though a closer location is enticing for gas savings, it also presents a unique challenge.  People feel free to come and go according to their own schedule!  That means they miss out on group bonding time, as well as cheat themselves out of the amount of time needed to unwind.  If they’re still running on their own timetable, have they really retreated from the daily grind?

5) How much will it cost?  Your answers to all of the above questions will funnel down into this last major one.  Cost will effect who can come and participate.  If the cost is too high, you may eliminate someone who really needs to be there!  Anything you can do to knock off some of the price will create goodwill and growth in the long run.  Fundraisers in the months prior to your event are helpful, as well as build anticipation for what is to come.

Don’t let too many options cheat you out of finding the best option for your retreat. A little bit of research will launch you into the next phase of planning and equip you for the nuances of a great event!

You can find more articles like this, here.

For more tips on Retreat Planning, see my ebook, How to Plan a Women’s Retreat!

Sally


Out of Africa

I still weep when I look at the pictures from Uganda. How can a trip to another continent render one so utterly speechless? Maybe it’s the culture shock, but, would you believe culture shock is harder coming back home? If you have running tap water in your house, you have more than most people in Third World countries. You are wealthy! 

One of the home visits we made was to a widow’s in Gulu. She takes care of her grandchildren because their parents, her children, have died of aids. Her home is a tiny mud hut with a thatch roof. Inside, she had a rocking chair and a fire pit. She was thrilled to invite us in, and brought a bench inside, just so she could host us in her home.
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There’s no welfare from the government in Africa. People survive off the land and the love of others who have compassion on them. We brought gifts of lotions, soap and shirts, and small toys for the children, as well as beans and rice. You would have thought she received great riches, her gratitude was so profound.
One organization that is making a difference in their lives is Children of Promise, a child sponsorship program of the Church of God. The program they developed for the widows is called TAPP, and is described this way,
“Tumaini Aids Prevention Program is a holistic social program that reaches out to those infected and affected with HIV & Aids. It provides training, Home Based Care, income generating projects, education and social support for a hopeful life which encompasses the entire community.
The Church of God child sponsorship office is located in the Kasubi area, in the city of Kampala, Uganda. As the office doors would open each morning, more and more families were showing up needing assistance. The need to care for families affected by HIV was overwhelming. Soon it was obvious that a separate program should be created. They called this program TAPP. ‘Tumaini’ is a Swahili word meaning ‘hope’ and became the vision of this program.”
We have long been associated with TAPP through the beautiful beads made by the widows. They create the beads with strips of paper rolled into tight balls and strung together, and this is one of the ways they support their families. Take a look at their work here.
Read more about our home visits here.
In his book, Something Beautiful For God, The Classic Account of Mother Teresa’s Journey into Compassion, Malcolm Muggeridge says this about encountering impoverished people:
Accompanying Mother Teresa… to the Home for the Dying, to the lepers and unwanted children, I found I went through three phases. The first was horror mixed with pity, the second compassion pure and simple, and the third, reaching far beyond compassion, something I had never experienced before – an awareness that these dying and derelict men and women, these lepers with stumps instead of hands, these unwanted children, were not pitiable, repulsive or forlorn, but rather dear and delightful; as it might be, friends of long standing, brothers and sisters. How is it to be explained – the very heart and mystery of the Christian faith? To soothe those battered old heads, to grasp those poor stumps, to take in one’s arms those children consigned to dustbins, because it is His head, as they are His stumps and His children, of whom He said that whosoever received one such child in His name received Him. (pp. 52-53)
Indeed, we met our brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews in those huts. And we were blessed.
Sally

Originally published August 28, 2014 at sallyswords


Book Review: Ties That Bind

Ties That Bind
Cindy Woodsmall has done it again! She’s drawn me into her world so effectively, that I hardly noticed I had reached the end of the story. In fact, I was frustrated that the story was finished, as it had more to disclose.
Ties That Bind begins with a crisis and immediately pulls you into the story of an Amish family and an Englisch family whose lives intersect. Woodsmall is able to navigate the two worlds successfully, framing each with the language and idiosyncrasies that make them believable.
The mysteries continued throughout the book, and it made me feel valued as a reader, not having everything spelled out for me. I love the wisdom spattered throughout, such as when Quill realizes hardship is a sign of being alive (p. 71), or when he recognizes the shallowness of treating God as a star to wish upon (p. 175). Arianna’s world turns inside out as she considers the treachery of those leaving the Old Order, but clings to love’s virtue, “with its thriving desire to be kind, encouraging, and protective” (p. 193).
The audience of Amish readers will have no further to look to find a great story. Award-winning Cindy Woodsmall has added another family to her repertoire, with The Amish of Summer Grove series, and it left me hanging on the edge of my seat for book two!

Sally
Disclaimer: “I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.”


Welcome to Momhood

I am a bad mom.
There. I’ve said it. I’ve laid it all on the table.
I have two adult children and I still try to make life all better for them.
Wasn’t I supposed to let go of that role when they were in elementary school? I bandaged the cuts and brushed off their knees, with a kiss to make it all better.
bandaged knee
When did I adopt the role that said, “I have to keep everyone happy”? I scurry around trying to be the peace-maker and hand-holder and all of that scurrying leaves me empty and scarred. As moms, do we enable our kids to grow, when we are the go-to person in their lives? Where is the fine line between being an enabler and being a springboard to launch them into adulthood? In their book, The Cure for the “Perfect” Life, Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory point out that “we live with the illusion that we have some measure of control over how other people behave. We’re like a three-year-old kid strapped into his car seat and using his Fisher-Price steering wheel, absolutely certain that he’s the one driving the car.
It’s crazy feeling that we have all the responsibility for other people’s lives, with none of the authority to make a difference.” (p. 171)
I gave up that authority with each birthday we celebrated. My children entered the pre-teen years with an earnest desire to make their own decisions. They went through the teens with independence as their motto. Letting go actually began the day I gave birth and gave them opportunity to breathe on their own. Why then, do I strive to take back control and seek to guide them still? Isn’t that something I label creatively as nurturing? When I hide my controlling tendencies in nice sounding terms, it makes me sound like a “good” mom. Yet, my whole job description as a parent is to prepare my kids to make their own decisions. And that cannot happen when I second-guess their judgment. Is there a better way for me to show them love? Lipp & Gregory say, “there is a love that goes deeper than hurting when others hurt- it’s the kind of love that allows those we love to be in pain so they can become the kind of people God has designed them to be.” (p. 175)
Now, I am the last person to want to leave someone else in pain. I am a people-pleaser with a capital P. But if I understand that I am not to rescue others from their problems, maybe I will embrace their journey to the Throne of Mercy by getting out of the way. And that is the best way to be an enabler.
I don’t have this all figured out. I’m sure I will regress and fall back into patterns of habit that are within my comfort zone. So here are two questions I will ask:
“1. Is this the best solution for them?
2. Is this the best solution for me?” (The Cure for the “Perfect” Life, p. 178)
Lipp & Gregory explain, one way to advocate healthy self-care is to tell myself, disappointment isn’t deadly.

When I release my kids to experience pain, they are empowered to reach out to God as their own Rescuer.
Here is my question for you:
How have you learned to release your adult children to the consequences of their own choices?
Sally
Originally published September 3, 2014 at sallyswords


Book Review: Seven Women and the Secret of Their Greatness by Eric Metaxas

7 women 9780718021832_jpg

What is the hallmark of a great life? Eric Metaxas contends there are specific qualities that set apart certain people, people who have conquered great odds to accomplish the unthinkable. He sets out to highlight the lives of seven extraordinary women, all who saw themselves as average, everyday people…

Joan of Arc: pure, brave and singular in her faith and obedience to God.

Susanna Wesley had a theological knowledge that fueled a disciplined life.

Hannah More’s culture was influenced by art and she sought to use her gifts in God’s service.

Saint Maria modeled the Christian life outside the four walls of the church.

Corrie ten Boom had a foundation of faith that began way before Nazi occupation turned her home inside out.

Rosa Parks was persistent in seeking rights for blacks in an age of terrible discrimination.

Mother Teresa saw the poor as God’s wonderful people.

I loved the narrative of this book. The author wove a story of faith, hardship, ingenuity and humility. It was a joy to read the chronicles of these who struggled with faith and its application to daily lives. It painted them in a light that showed they were real people with real difficulties. They were not sugar-coated, but weaknesses were laid bare. Why is that important? Because it helped me to relate to their lives, and to understand the power of faith in God to change the course of history.

Eric Metaxas also wrote Seven Men and the Secret to Their Greatness and states both sexes suffer when the uniqueness of each is denied. 7 Women challenged me to be fully me, and to stop the comparison game that robs my sphere of the gifts given by God to impact change in the world.

A great Christmas gift for both male and female readers on your list!

Sally

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Living with Dad’s Dementia

The light bulb has gone out in Dad’s eyes. Last week we carried on a conversation and played Rook. Tonight, he responds “yeah” and can’t seem to figure out the different colors in Uno.

We were at this place five years ago. The doctors said he would have plateaus where he would level out. But Dad completely returned. He not only balanced out but was dreaming about getting a job again.

A few days ago, we said goodbye to my brother-in-law. Did the funeral trigger memories of Mom’s death? Has he retreated to the recesses of his mind to keep from the pain of Larry’s death?

At first the Uno game was cute. But he got stuck there and wouldn’t even rise from the table without me taking his elbow. Now I feel my own panic rise like bile in the back of my throat.

What is it about pain that shuts down the brain? Here I am, needing You again, Lord. The very breath I breathe needs Your infusion of hope and mountain-moving faith. Help me to take one step at a time, as we navigate these muddy waters with Dad.

Mom gave me a book by Anne Graham Lotz called “Why?” It has become my go-to resource when life throws another curve ball. Anne says, “The kind of trust God wants us to have cannot be learned in comfort and ease. Mary and Martha could not learn it immediately or quickly. It required time. And patience. And suffering. And the pressure of desperation.” (p. 55)

Are you desperate for God to intervene in your life? Reach out to Him to hold your hand and to walk the dusty road with you. And whatever you do, don’t give up. He promised He would go with you, no matter what.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” –Isaiah 43:2 NIV

Sally


Escape to the Beach!

Warm breezes. Water slapping the reef. Sailboat bobbing. Stress level dropping.

Seagulls soaring. Water shimmering. Pebbles beneath my feet.

Barcelona reef

Surely this isn’t just around the corner, in western New York? It sounds like a southern paradise! But no, it’s a western New York oasis, by the name of Barcelona Beach. Hubby & I went to a charming B & B there, Barcelona Lakeside Bed & Breakfast.

Barcelona sign

I love the old charm of the house, with little nooks of cozy seating. All of the views turn your attention toward the waters of Lake Erie and its mesmerizing lull. I could imagine an old sea captain living there, right across from the harbor.

Barcelona window

We did a lot of walking… to the beach, to sit on benches on the pier, and to wander around the lighthouse. Coming back to the Inn was like returning home. There, we were greeted with warm cookies, and took a turn in the hammock, and the swing. I just could not get over the breathtaking view!

Barcelona lighthouse

Innkeepers Rodger and Lesley Hazen were friendly hosts and very knowledgeable about the area. Their stories added appeal to the entire experience. In fact, I’m interested in the winter B & B activities, just to experience the sleigh ride and hot cocoa!

We had the option for the Beach Package, and were blessed with a sunny day. A wagon was packed with sandwiches, fresh fruit, beach chairs, umbrella and towels. And we set out for our excursion. The water stretched out before us, and for a time, we had our own private cove.

Barcelona wagon 11889490_10206380524724794_8531468029041647933_n

After awhile, we wandered back to the Inn. Rodger started a fire in the fire pit, where other lodgers were catching up after the events of their day.

Barcelona fire pit

The B & B is a short jaunt from Westfield and Dunkirk, both offering shops and restaurants. (Map) Saturday morning we enjoyed a sampling of country fare, as Westfield had a Farmers’ Market downtown, with artists also displaying their crafts.

Our room was dressed out in a nautical theme, making the beach experience even more tangible. When others checked out of the front two rooms, we peeked into large suites facing the pier. Comfortably decorated with daily fresh towels and Lake Erie at your doorstep, who would ever want to go home?

Thank you, Rodger and Lesley for the scrumptious breakfasts on the back patio and the warm welcome in your home. We left refreshed!

Sally

Barcelona harbor



Book Review: Squeezing Good Out of Bad

Squeezing Good out of Bad

Ever have a sour day? James N. Watkins wrote the book on it! With his characteristic pun-filled humor, Jim Watkins has somehow managed to put a lemony twist on the serious side of life and called it, Squeezing Good Out of Bad.

Jim is an author and speaker, with over 2,000 articles published. His editorial work and lecturing have opened many doors, but his biggest qualifier for writing this book? “He’s felt the squeeze of cancer, unemployment, family crises, and chronic nose hair.”

The book promises to squeeze good out of those life-puckering problems and delivers with seasoned advice, the benefits of laughter and great perspective (“Is this truly a hand grenade or is it more in the category of a hangnail?”). I love the reminders (“We don’t need to take responsibility for the things that we had no control over.”) and action steps for working through topics of forgiveness, suffering and learning to let God have complete control.

“Squeezing Good Out of Bad” is an important addition to my library, because Jim has added so many seeds of truth. It is a reference book on those days when nothing is going right, and provides insight into the issue of pain. He says Romans 8:28-29 offers a clue: the Lord works all things for good, so that Jesus may be revealed in us.

Make time for this book and receive a dose of inspiration. It includes quotes from Flannery O’Connor, G.K. Chesterton, Cecil Murphy, Henri Nouwen, Philip Yancey, Brother Lawrence, Saint John of the Cross, Watchman Nee, Brennan Manning, and many more. It highlights the servanthood of Francine Rivers and recommends works of other authors. It is not some fluff piece of work, but one with depth and courage.

Need a recipe for those lemons? You’ve come to the right place!

Sally